Whatsapp Jokes

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Few jokes – whatsapp jokes

Dadi marte hue boli :”Beta me apna farm, 6
tractor, 50 janwar n 22,389,630 cash tmhare
naam karti
hoon..
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… .
Ladka:”dadi ye sub hai kaha.. ??
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.
.
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Dadi:”Farmville on Facebook..

Santa: Dettol Sabun hai ?
Dukandar :Hai ?
Santa:Accha wala ?
Dukandar:Ha ?
Santa: Acchi quality ka hai na ? Dukandar: Ha yaar
Santa: Hath dhokar1kilo aata dedo ….????
Want To Be 1st In Your Class..??

Tips :-

1> Wake Up Everyday At 5 Am..!!

2> Drink Tea Or Coffee..!!

3> Go To School At 6 Am,

And Nobody Will Be There In Your Class..!!

You Are 1st In Your Class..!!!
A Lady on telephone:
“Hello Sir, I want to meet & talk to you..”

Man: do u know me..

Lady: Yes you are the father of one of my kids.

Man stunned,
“Oh my God!
Are u Sangeeta????”

No

Are U Meenakshee ???

No

Are u Nisha?

No

Neha?

No

Monika?

No

Anushka?

No

Mitali?

No

Vaishali?

No

Lady in confusion…
“No sir i’m the class teacher of your son.”

Facts of life – whatsapp jokes

What is Swarg?

American Salary
German car
Chinese Food &
Indian Wife

What is Nark?

American Wife
German Food
Chinese Car &
Indian Salary

Very strange But True

The Prime minister of this country is Economist,

The President is Economist ,

Finance minister is Economist,

And..
Governor of the Reserve Bank is also Economist ..

Even Then country’s economy is sinking …
Moral : Too many cooks will spoil the food. .

Manmohan Singh to write an autobiography titled
“5 Mistakes Of My Life:
2G, 3G, Sonia G, Rahul G &
Rahul ke jija G!”

Normal Sardars-
“Jo Bole So Nihhaal.”

But Dr Manmohan Singh-
“Jo Bole So-nia Aur Uska Laal.”

Santa banta jokes – whatsapp jokes

4 Sardar train k piche baag rahe the..
2 chadh gaye,to train me logo ne kaha
“WELL DONE”
Sardar-khaak well done
Jana to unhe tha,
Hum to chhodne aaye the.

Sardar:Raat mujhe ek aadmi ne chaku dikhakar loot liya.
Friend:Lekin tere pas to hamesha Gun hoti hai.
Sardar:Wo maine chupa di thi, warna wo bhi chori ho jati

Sardar-Yaar ye
SENT MESSAGE
Kya hota hai?

Dusra sardar-
Bevkuf
Tune Hi Sardaro Ka Naam Kharab Kiya H

Sent Message Matlab

Khushbu Wala Message

Sardar teacher ne exam ke liye Question Paper banaya..
Paper dekhte hi saare bachche behosh ho gaye.!
Question the :
1. China kis Desh me he ?
2. 15 Aug kis Date ko Aati he ?
3. Green Rang kis Colour ka Hota he?
4. Tamatar ko Hindi may kya Bolte he?
5. Mumtaz ki Qabar main Kon Dafan he?

Sardar apni Billi se tang aa ke use
dur chhod aya.
Ghar aya to billi vapas aa gai thi !
Wo dusari bar chhod aya aur billi
phir vapas aa gai !
3rd time wo use bahut dur aur
complicated route pe chhod aya.
Vapas raste me usne apni biwi ko
phone kiya: Kya Billi ghar aa gai?
Biwi:Yes
Sardar: Us kamini ko bhej yahan,
main rasta bhul gaya hun….

Sardar park me baita tha
Friend:kya kar raha hai?
Sardar:badla le raha hu.
Friend:kisse?
Sardar: waqt ne muje barbad kiya
hai, ab me waqt barbad kar raha
hu…

1 Sardar Hanuman Jayanti Pe Mandir
Gaya.
Pujari Ne Aarti Di.
Socho Sardar Ne Kya Kiya Hoga?
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.jn
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Ans-
Sardar Aarti Ka Diya Buja Kar Bola
Happy B’day Hanumanji.

Alok Nath vs sunny leone – whatsapp jokes

Sunny Leone To Alok Nath in a rapid fire round…. -

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Sunny Leone :- ” Wo Kya Hai Jo Tumhare
PANT Me Hai Aur Mere PATICOAT
Me Nahi..
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Alok Nath :- ” POCKET
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Sunny Leone :- ” Wo Kya Hai Jo Din Me Lene
K Bajay RAAT Ko BISTAR Par Lete
Hai,
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Alok Nath :- ” NEEND
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Sunny Leone :- ” Wo Kya Hai Jo LADKI 1st
Time Karwane Par Jor Se Chillati Hai,
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Alok Nath :- ” KAAN Me CHHED,
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Sunny Leone :- ” Wo Kya Hai Jiske AAdha
Jane Par DARD Hota Hai Par Pura
Jane Par Accha Lagta Hai,
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Alok Nath :- ” HATHO Me KANGAN
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Sunny Leone :- ” Wo Kya Hai Jiske Paas Ho
to HAATH Me Pakad Kar Hilata Hai,
Aur
Jiske Paas Na Ho To UNGLI Daal K
Hilata Hai,
.
Alok Nath :- “TOOTH BRUSH”
.
Ye Hote Hai Sanskaar

Santa banta jokes – whatsapp jokes

1 Naujawan ne Buzurg se pucha:
Jab duniya ek din fanah hojani hai to log is k peche q bhagte hain..??

Paisa Dunya me reh jaega to log is k peche zindgi q lutate hain..??

Cheezon ko hasil krne k liye Doston ko Dushmn q smjhte hain..??

Buzurg ne Teeno swalon ko ghaur se suna. Phir unhone jaib se 1 machis ki dabbi nikali, dabbi me se 3 teeliyan uthayi, phir 2 teeliyan wapis rakhi, aur 1 teeli ko tor k us k 2 hisse kar diye, aur agla hissa phenk diya pichlay hisse ko thora sa nokdaar banaya or muh k qareeb laa k danton me phansa hua khana nikalte hue bole..
.
. . .
“mujhe kya pata…?”

Pappu ne “Live Radio Station” call ki : Hello.. ji ye Radio station hai ?

RJ: ji Haan

Pappu: Meri awaaz pura shehar sun raha hai ?

R.J: Haan

Pappu: Yani ghar mein jo meri behan Radio sunn rahi hai.. wo Bhi sun rahi hogi..?

R.J (Ghusse me) : Haaan bai haan

Pappu: Hello reshma Agar meri aawaz sun rahi hai.. toh jaldi se Motor chala de…!
Main uper chhat par.. Toilet mein huu aur Paani khatam ho gaya hai aur tera phone switch off aa rha hai…!!!!

Santa banta jokes – whatsapp jokes

Army Traning k dauran, OFFICER ne SANTA se pucha:’Ye Hath me kya he?’

SANTA:”Sir, Banduk hai”

OFFICER :”Ye Banduk Nahi! Tumhari Izzat hai, Shaan hai. Ye Tumhari MAA hai MAA!”

Phir Officer ne dusre sipahi BANTA se pucha:”Ye Hath me kya hai?”

BANTA:”Sir, ye Santa ki Maa he aur Hamari AUNTY hai AUNTY!”…

Before the King goes to war, he locks his wife (the beautiful Queen ), in the room & gives the key to his best friend & says : If I am not back within 4 days , open the room and she is yours….He sits on his horse & hits the road. Half an hour later he notices a dust cloud & sound behind him. He stops & sees his friend riding very fast towards him.”What’s wrong ?” King asks….. Out of breath, his friend answers, “It is the wrong Key…!! ”
Men Will Be Men

Husband wife jokes – whatsapp jokes

A Wife hit her Husband with a Frying Pan “tuunnn..”
HUSBND: What was that for?
WIFE: I found a paper in ur pocket with the name JENNY on it.
HUSBAND: I went to the RACES last week & JENNY was the name of my HORSE…
WIFE: Sorry!
Next day wife hit him with the frying pan AGAIN! “tuunnn..”
HUSBND: why did u hit me again?
WIFE: Ur Horse is whatsapping you

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