Whatsapp Jokes

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Hoshiyari mat jhado – whatsapp jokes

एक आदमी होशयारी झाड़ रहा था –“

लोहा लोहे को काटता है
और हीरा,हीरे को …..”.

.तभी पीछे से आकर एक कुत्ते ने उसे काट लिया … !!!

3 funny jokes – whatsapp jokes

स्वस्थ रहने का अचूक उपाय

दो ग्लास दूध लेकर उसे उबाले और इतना उबाले क़ि वह एक ग्लास रह जाये फिर थोड़े से बादाम दो काजू व् एक चम्मच चीनी ले और आधा चम्मच शुद्ध देसी घी ले बादाम व् काजू अच्छी तरह पीस कर सब चीजे दूध में ठीक से मिला दे याद रहे ऐसा आप को शाम को 7 बजे के आस पास करना है जब सारा मिश्रण तैयार हो जाये तो फोन कर के मुझे बुलाले
मै आकर वो दूध पी लूंगा व् भगवान से आपके अच्छे स्वास्थ के लिए दुआ करूँगा

Laila Ne Majnu Ko Ek Ped Ke Pichhe Dekha Aur Boli.
Laila: “Tum Majnu Ho Na?”
Majnu Bola: “Haan”
Phir Kuch Deir Baad Use Jhadiyo Ke Piche Dekha To Boli.
Laila: “Tum Majnu Ho Na?”
Majnu Bola: “Haan, Main Majnu Hoon”
Phir Kuch Deir Baad Use Diwaar Ke Pichhe Dekha Aur Kaha.
Laila: “Tum Majnu Ho Na?”
Majnu Bola: “Haan-Haan, Kamini Main Majnu Hi Hoon, Tu Mujhe Tatti Karne Degi Ya Nahi“
सेल्फी का इतना फॅड चढा है
की
आजकल की लड़कीया अगर सुहाग रात को सेक्स करने जाये…

तो पहले फोटो खींचकर स्टेटस अपडेट करेंगी:

Fucking @ सुहाग रात…

Feeling # घचाघच !

Employee boss – whatsapp jokes

कर्मचारी : हेलो बॉस, मुझे टेररिस्ट ने पकड़ लिया है दोनों हाथ काट दिए, आंखें फोड़ दी !!

बॉस : ओके! हो सके तो आजा ऑफिस में बहुत काम है।

Whatsapp settings – whatsapp jokes

अगर किसी को whatsapp
पर
सेटिंग करनी है तो….
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whatsapp प्रोफाइल के राइट कार्नर पर सेटिंग का ऑप्शन है वहां से कर लो

Indian judiciary special – whatsapp jokes

एक भैंस घबराई हुई जंगल मे
भागी जा रही थीतो
एक चूहे ने पूछा : क्या हुआ बहन
कहाँ भागे जा रही हो?
भेंस : जंगल मे हाथी को
पुलिस पकडने आई हें
चूहा : पर तुम क्यों भाग रहीं
हो तुम तो भेंस हो?
भेंस : लगता हे तुमनये हो, ये
भारत हें भाई ! पकडे गये तो
20 साल तो अदालत मे ये
सिद्ध करने मे ही लग जायेंगे…

Yoga day special – whatsapp jokes

सुबह सवेरे पति उठ के तैयार हुआ योगा जाने के
लिय ।
पत्नि की आखं खुल गई तो पति ने पुछ लिया
पति : प्रिय, क्या तुम मेरे साथ योगा के लिए
चलना पसंद करोगी ?
पत्नि : तुम कहना क्या चाहते हो, मैं
क्या मोटी हो गई हूँ.
पति : कोई बात नही, इच्छा नही है तो मत चलो.
पत्नि : मतलब, मैं आलसी हूँ ?
पति : अरे तुम गुस्सा क्यों कर रही हो ?
पत्नि : मतलब, मैं हमेशा झगड़ती हूँ.
पति : अरे, मैंने ऐसा कब बोला ?
पत्नि : मतलब कि मैं झूठी हूँ.
पति : अच्छा बाबा, मैं नही जाता हूँ.
पत्नि : मैं सब समझती हूँ, दरअसल तुम जाना ही नही चाहते थे.
पति ने चुप रहने में ही अपनी भलाई समझी और बेचारा फिर सो गया
Yoga day special

Interesting interview questions – whatsappp jokes

Really Good One. Pls read…..

These are few questions asked in HR interview… The answers are really stunning and inspiring…….. Thinking out of the box…! A must READ……

Question 1:

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it’s raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:

* An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

* An old friend who once saved your life.

* The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car?

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

He simply answered:

“I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.”

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to “Think Outside of the Box.”

Question 2:

What will you do if I run away with your sister?

The candidate who was selected answered ” I will not get a better match for my sister than you sir”

Question 3:

Interviewer (to a student girl candidate) What if one morning you woke up & found that you were pregnant.

Girl I will be very excited and take an off, to celebrate with my husband.

Normally an unmarried girl will be shocked to hear this, but she managed it well. Why I should think it in the wrong way, she said later when asked.

Question 4:

Interviewer: He ordered a cup of coffee for the candidate. Coffee arrived kept before the candidate, then he asked what is before you?

Candidate: Instantly replied “Tea”

He got selected.

You know how and why did he say “TEA” when he knows very well that coffee was kept before.

(Answer: The question was “What is before you (U alphabet) Reply was “TEA” ( T alphabet)

Alphabet “T” was before Alphabet “U”

Question5;

Interviewer said “I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question.

Think well before you make up your mind!” The boy thought for a while and said, “my choice is one really difficult question.”

“Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this. “What comes first, Day or Night?”

The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, “It’s the DAY sir!”

“How” the interviewer asked,

“Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!”

___

Sometimes just thinking out of the box is all it takes!

Share with your friend and give them a special moment of thinking…!!
jai ho eshe bhakt mandir m aate rhe SB ka maan lga rhega

Husband wife jokes – whatsapp jokes

The reason why men are not allowed to give advice in love-columns of magazines:

Varsha:
“Hi! I’m a lady aged 26 married with one kid. Last week my husband was off duty and I had to drive alone to work. I left my husband with the maid and my baby at home. I drove for just about 2km from home n my car engine started to overheat so I turned back to get the other car. When i got home i found my husband in bed with our maid!!! I don’t know what to do now. Please help.”

Reply by male columnist:

“Dear Varsha,
Overheating of engine after such short distance can be caused by problems associated with the carburetor. You need to check your oil and water level in your engine before you start your journey. You must also make sure your car is serviced regularly to avoid problems in future. Hope this helps.”

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