Funny jokes – Adult Jokes
Adult Jokes 1
what do you call a person who does things better than you ???
Intelligent computer – Adult Jokes
MUST READ U wILL FALL DOWN LAUGHING
Jignesh “My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor.”?
His friend “Don’t be so desi. There’s computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10.00.”???
Jignesh figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store.
Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read?? You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks.
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, Jignesh began to wonder if this could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try.
He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.? The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights, and printed out the following analysis:???
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.?
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.?
3. Your daughter is getting’ screwed by three guys at the same time and has urinary infection. Put her on Antibiotic and keep a track of her outings.
4. Your wife is pregnant . . . twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. And Bastard, If you don’t stop masturbating, your elbow will never gt better.
Funny Adult jokes
Sabziwala: Madam yeh 500 ka note blouse se nikaala hai kya?
Madam: Haan, par apko kaise pata chala?
Sabziwala: Gandhiji ka munh abhi bhi khula hua hai!!!!!!!!!!!
Silly adult jokes
A boy to a dark girl: Tum kitni kali ho!
The girl replies: Tere baap ka kya jata hai?
Boy: Agar mere baap ka jata to aap kali na hoti!!!!!!!!!!!
Wife: Kal chor aaya aur mere saath SEX karke chala gaya.
Husband: Tumne use roka nahi?
Wife: Bahut kaha rukne ke liye, bola kal phir aaunga.
Santa banta jokes
Santa asks CALL GIRL: How much?
She says: 50 on bed, 20 on sofa, 10 on grass.
Santa gives her 50.
She says: Wow, on bed?
Santa: No, 5 times on grass.
Silly adult jokes
Two girls were returning from a movie.
1st: Mera purse chori ho gaya.
2nd: Per tu to bra mein rakhti thi.
1st: Mujhe kya pata saala chori kar raha hai.
Kelewala: Kele, Le. Lo kele!
Madam: Arey bhaiya, kele to pilpile hai. Kadak aur lambe do!
Kelewala: Arey madam, kabhi to khane ke liye liyaa karo!
A hair cutting saloon shifted from ground floor to 1st floor.
A board was put by him: ‘Neeche ke bal katane ki dukan upar hai.’
Sardar: Dad, Main biwi nu sms kita ki main raat nu aayunga, Raat nu jado ghar gaya ta oh kisi hor da bistar garam (???) kar rahi thi
Dad: Puttar dil chhota na kar SMS nahi milya hoyega
Salman khan Jokes
Salman: Main Revital kareeb 15 saal se kha
Kapil Sharma : SHAADI HO NAHI RAHI.
KATRINA KO RANBEER LE GAYA, AISHWARYA KO ABHISHEK LE GAYA..
REVITAL KHA KAR KYA MILA?
BABAJI KA THULLU :D